3/11/2018 Wow these guys really know how to cook. I need to step my game up. Already I’ve literally had gourmet chicken pot pie, stuffed peppers, even the tuna fish sandwich and grilled cheese were gourmet. I’m starting to miss my family a little bit. More importantly I’m worried sick about my brother, it’s not bad enough that I’m homeless, it’s heartbreaking that I have a brother who’s addicted to heroin. I don’t know what to do about it, sad truth is there is nothing I can do about it.
I’m finding myself getting bored here at the farm. There’s nothing I can do about it except journal or blog. There’s college students that are on there way to the farm which I’m not to excited to share my story. Who can you really impress with things that you’ve lost, because of my addiction I have already lost my apartment, my dog, and my car. It’s not bad enough that I’m an addict, it really bites the big one that I’m bipolar too. On a good note I’ve already been weaned off of some medications from the hospital. I was put on three different anxiety medications hydroxyzine, ativan, and busbar. And I have already been needing less and less anxiety meds. Last night was the first night that I actually went to bed without my sleep med trazadone, which I was pretty excited about. My bipolar episode back in December left me in the hospitals until January 16 and then when I got out of the hospital reality set in, after I realized I ran sacked my apartment gave away my PS4 for drugs, crashed my car, and a eviction notice was creeping in up on me, I began to get suicidal I went back to the VA, hence that’s why I was on so many different medications. The good news now is that I am no longer suicidal. Amen. With the grace of God I will find my serenity.