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Obsessed with a look

I’ll be 33 years old this year. There is not a day where I do not learn something new. I’m a CEO of a company. I have to learn to learn and take the reins. You might think I do this alone. NO far from it! My friends are awesome, rocking and supporting the Every Rebel brand and Wellness Lifestyle. Going into 2020 Strong Baby!!! Yahhh! So far, I know Every Rebel has gone up and down the East Coast, and parts of Canada! COOL BEANS Right!?

Right…

Anyway the title… “Obsessed with a look”. It is really a loaded term. People including my self at times, in the past; would go through any lengths to have the most stylish clothes or 5% body fat. CRAY CRAY. Every Rebel is not that it’s a fashion statement I encourage to use as an icebreaker.

*Tearing up*

I have some discord in my life. It’s personal. It’s about my romantic life and recovery. I am more comfortable talking about recovery than I am romance. I relapsed, Not on Coke, or X, or any narcotic 🙁 I drank a few beers and had a shot. It started a week ago when I aggressively started house shopping. I’ve been renting for over a decade and Every Rebel is growing. For those of you that know me I have not had a drink in over 3 years. I have this tendency to acquire every monetary thing you may need to run a household. But instead, I end up running myself nuts. It feels amazing to be going to look for a home, yet it also feels like bad juju. One of my friends said I should be happy as for “your looking for your palace for your love.”

Do I talk about it now? Romance? sure I guess. It’s like dancing with the devil and playing jump rope with God, and a potential spouse. I’m 33 and still can’t make my mind… Ok Ok maybe I can make my mind. It’s just that, I tried almost everything underneath the sun and… I’m just going to make a confession. I lie to girls when I say I’m gay. It started when I was young. I was an UGLY duckling Big Ole head, Traintracks for braces, Not to mention chubby. If you wanted to get picked on, you definitely needed one of these three things. Id make friends, I was not so much cool, just average, I liked just about all my classmates unless you were mean or smelled bad. I had some boy in my class and they were “better looking than me” so I’d hang out with them, maybe learn how to grab a girl’s number. Instead of the cool kids asking the girls for their numbers they would use me the UGLY DUCKLING. I would get some embarrassed sometimes cause Id actually have to talk to my crush or my crushes friends and they were pretty too. I started looking to TV for cool dude role models. John Claude Vandame, Or Sylvester Stalone, and what do I end up looking up to? A whole bunch of bafoons I find on MTV. If you read my last blog you’ll know what I mean.

Wingman yeah, I got you! But do you have me? This is where the little white lie started to constrict my heart for the next 15+ years. Now what’s going on in my head is a whole lot of finger-pointing that revolves around. 1. Bad parenting 2. Bullying 3. Bad friends. It’s so difficult to word but, I’m going to word it as I worded it to my social worker. I would lie to a woman I wasn’t attracted to and tell them I was gay, and I actually wasn’t. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. Did you hear about the boy that cried wolf right?

There was this teenage boy that worked on a farm full of sheep. His job was to, during the night, watch the herd of sheep in case a wolf were to appear. He was a jokester though. So in the middle of the night, he would run into the village screaming WOLF WOLF! Everyone in the village came running. WHERE IS THE WOLF BOY? The boy hysterically laughing, on the ground in tears. There’s no wolf I got you! He said. He would do this again and again and the people would come running and he would laugh, laugh, laugh. Welp, one day. He saw a wolf; the boy screamed and screamed! But no one from the village was buying it. There’s no wolf, he’s lying, he’s lying. There actually was a wolf. That wolf proceeds to kill the sheep and the boy.

That last sentence was a little harsh if you feel the need to twist it up a little bit with a nicer ended go for it.

To the people that have Every Rebel apparel and/ or merch. Thank you. It honestly feels like I have a whole Army of people scratching my back. It keeps me Motivated to keep giving back to the community. And Ya’ll keep me on my toes! Keep N’ it Real for Keep N’ it Honest