Ever ponder the so-called question of life? It’s not a question really, it’s more of a verb that describes an action (LIVE). I gave myself the weekend to get my shit together. When I first started Every Rebel a year ago, I wanted the brand to mean more. I wanted it to symbolize a destination or state of grace. My state of grace these days is my Love for Life! I had 18 Months’ sobriety. I was even able to quit smoking cigarettes. Why? Two words.. Loneliness and Anger. Maybe there are other words but currently at 3:44 am I cannot think of any.
As you can see in the title, ‘I gave myself the weekend’. I let loose I guess you could say, and I had a six pack. Not going to lie. I was drinking like; I was quarantined on a beach somewhere. One day, when I was looking in the mirror, my eyes were all red. I said to myself. Smoking is not a good look for you, while I was wearing an Every Rebel Tshirt. My gut and inside voice agreed with that statement. Smoking is a very difficult conversation or site to see in the Pelletier-Morton household. I lost my grandfather who was also a veteran to smoking. It was the worst nightmare you’d want to see a person live through. I don’t want that in my foreseen future. I say foreseen Because my Dental bill says so! I quit smoking and the periodontist likes seeing me and my jacked up grill. I CANNOT believe my grandfather lost his voice, then his life. I didn’t even get to ask him about the Korean war; before I knew what I was getting into in Iraq and Afghanistan. Luckily I didn’t have to go. Stateside had its OWN Bullspit! Quick story My Homies, The Gang I used to smoke Weed with, was strapped up in the Korangal Valley, I caught wind that they had access to Facebook on leave, I was enlisted 3 months later. It was like that. Hopefully, it’s still like that. And we all have each others back in a positive light.
O yeah! What was with all that weekend jazz? With the Corona Virus currently forcing spring cleaning amongst us in the most forceful and heartbreaking way ever! I said after this weekend if I can’t quit smoking cigs, the slow ass, wacky tobaccy, and the driiinkkking, don’t forget the drinking Mr. Pelletier! I was going to close the doors to Every Rebel. But it’s the stress not the stress of the business and my passion for clothing, it’s the economy. It hasn’t existed in a little over a month, and quite honestly I don’t know how I’m handling it. Some say that the Greatest thing in life to happen to a person is right after they have made their Biggest mistake. My biggest mistake was touching that drink, cig, and weed. I’m sure I will survive without a coffee and a cigarette in the morning. Grandma…? Don’t shoot the messenger, but I’m quoting your words. “It doesn’t make sense to drink and not smoke, and smoke and not drink” and “With Dope, there’s Hope” What kind of STUFF is that? Thanks but no thanks, really Rosie!
What the fuck am I doing? It is now 5am and I’m thinking how should I conclude this LOL. It’s five in the MORNING, why am I acting like I have a term paper due?Cheese And Rice. Thank you ladies and gentleman
That dang friggen Friendship stone. It really is a sweet stone. Coarse but not too rough, round, yet raised. Overall its a nice stone. It IS not a skipper though; you definitely cannot skip this stone. May be PERFECT for a sling shot. But No. One more quick story and I’ll leave you alone.
I’m walking through the woods,
I’m listening to music, and looking down.
Shoe kicks over some leaves as I’m walking.
This little stone catches my eye, if you were to say a rock looked you, this rock would be the one, I pick it up, and RANDOMLY as fuck say, this is my friendship stone.
I take three steps and say… “fuck this in my head” and go to THROW it!
WAIT!!! I said that’s my friendship stone didn’t I? I did.
Then I thought to myself is that what I want to do with my friendships and relationships alike, just throw them away? Sure
No I want something more, yes of course there are growing pains and people grow apart, but I want something more! I’ve always had abandonment issues and what I found out after have this stone for about three weeks. I learned a lot about myself, I’m hot tempered.
I would lose the stone, or forget to take it on my walks with me, but what I learned was, I was putting smoking before everything. Before GOD, before breakfast, Before and Even After thing. Meals, SEX, and I had this weird thing of after I brushed my teeth I would have to have a cigarette. It used to be a run after I brushed my teeth. Butt temporarily I consider myself fat, and I walk a little more.
Anyway… Once I started remembering to take the stone on a walk with me, or finding it after I lost it. It’s become meaningful. Just like my relationships. I want them to be meaningful.
Shout out to Pastor Barry for calling every Sunday!
I’m a out. Payce!!!!